A Cry for Help
Recently I found myself desperately parched and dry! Emotions like sad and mad wandered around in my soul – unwelcome visitors, but camping out, nevertheless. Perhaps you have found yourself in similar spots.
In this blog, I wanted to share a window into my journey these last few days.
This past Thursday found me in a foul condition…. not physically, but in my interior castle so to speak. Frustrated, discouraged, dry, confused…and spinning in those moments of “What the hell?” Yep. Those were my thoughts. Some religious types will exit at this point. No problem but know that I am seeking to be fully authentic in these few paragraphs.
So, hang on!
Thursday night, I went to bed crying out to the Lord – “Send Help from your sanctuary!” Help was just about all I could muster that day. But my mustard seed of faith was active in spite of my soul’s appearance. My best thoughts as I went to sleep were of my children and my grandchildren, their husbands and extended families. Landing on thoughts of our “grandkids” always leaves me in a comforting spot emotionally. They just love you. Period.
As I awoke on Friday morning, I headed to the garden as is my normal habit. The day was golden and not a cloud in the sky. I sat down with the thought, “I just don’t want to think, I just want to be”. I positioned myself on a chair in the sunlight. As soon as I did, I believe an angel dropped a song into my mind. It was John Denver’s “Sunshine on my shoulder”. I began perusing my memories of John Denver songs. Being a hippie in the 1970’s, I lived and worked for a short season in Aspen Colorado around the time of John Denver’s heightened popularity. His presence in the cowboy town was soothing to my soul…it was his kind and poetic words that filled the air of those days. I loved his music and I was definitely living in ‘Rocky Mountain High’ for a season. Suffice it to say that it was ‘Take me Home Country Roads’ that my wandering heart needed the most.
Sitting in that bright sunlight I began to travel down those musical memories, and I was carried away into the hallways of remembrance as only music can do. I found an old favorite called “Rhymes and Reasons” which is very poignant for today. Lines like “Hope that I’d forgotten” and “the wisdom of the children” and “find a better way” stayed with me all day long…they became Thursdays friend and healing balm. The music helped me to arrive at the gift of tears which circled on and off all day. This is where the souls resolve often begins. Many of you have found that to be true in life. I often ask myself and have conversations with my girlfriends about why it takes us so long to get there…to the tears.
I find it interesting that a good cry produces healing hormones like Oxytocin and Prolactin. One of our Doctor friends calls prolactin God’s mellaril - a drug used to calm patients who are dealing with mood disorders and schizophrenia.
Anger, on the other hand, produces stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline which serve to exacerbate nervousness and anxiety. Know this! Anger and tears seem to be very far apart. But if we allow ourselves to be led in truthful investigation in our innermost being, we can put the pieces together and get to some clues and perhaps answers to how we arrived at the emotions. Psalm 51:6 “Behold, Thou dost desire truth in the innermost being and in the hidden parts Thou wilt make me know wisdom.”
As I end my blog thoughts, I’m including the lyrics to John Denver’s song ‘Rhyme and Reasons’ at the end of this post. Denver spoke about this song saying, “I think this is one of the best songs I’ve ever written.” I also want to pass on a few recommendations for a good cry. If possible, find a pet or a friend to dialogue with or maybe a journal that makes room for you to be authentic without judgement or evaluation…just wander through the emotional passageways. Drink Water! Get into nature. Find ways to rest your mind. Move slowly. Bathe. Be kind to yourself.
I also have a warning about emotions that can lead us down certain paths. When you are being oppressed by fear, anxiety, guilt or anger remember that these emotions can ultimately be our tutors and teachers. The Psalmist David was one of the most authentic about his journey through the waters of the soul. The soul is our thinker, our chooser and our feeler. The soul is pretty much who you are. Yes, we have a Body and we have a Spirit. But for the purpose of this blog, we are looking at our soul and promoting an honest journey towards wholeness and finding the “true you” that God knows and loves.
Here is the warning: In Genesis 4:6 the Lord came to Cain and asked him why he was angry and why his countenance (mood) had fallen. The Lord tells Cain that if he does what is right, then his mood will be lifted but that if he does not choose what is right, then further wrongdoing and missing Gods best for him (sin) will overtake him. God exhorts Cain to master his mood! And to that, I will say this. We need God. During difficult moods, difficult days and emotions - it is GOD ALONE who can lead us into truth in our innermost being. No one knows us like our Creator. He will send help from His sanctuary!
Most of all, know that God is near you in the day of trouble. He will answer you by the Voice and sound which is recognized by you alone. Psalm 20:1 and 2, “For the Lord will answer you in the day of trouble. The name of God of Jacob will set you securely on high. He will send you help from His sanctuary and support you from Zion.”
Rhymes and Reasons
By John Denver
So you speak to me of sadness
And the coming of the winter
Fear that is within you now
It seems to never end
And the dreams that have escaped you
And the hope that you've forgotten
You tell me that you need me now
You want to be my friend
And you wonder where we're going
Where's the rhyme and where's the reason
And it's you cannot accept
It is here we must begin
To seek the wisdom of the children
And the graceful way of flowers in the wind
For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day
Like the music of the mountains
And the colours of the rainbow
They're a promise of the future
And a blessing for today
Though the cities start to crumble
And the towers fall around us
The sun is slowly fading
And it's colder than the sea
It is written from the desert
To the mountains they shall lead us
By the hand and by the heart
They will comfort you and me
In their innocence and trusting
They will teach us to be free
For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day
And the song that I am singing
Is a prayer to non believers
Come and stand beside us
We can find a better way
